A hoard of homosexuals or people on the verge of testing it out in a closet, went on a Twitter rampage requesting Marvel to give Captain America a boyfriend and it's literally the gayest idea I've ever heard.
Should Captain America have a Boyfriend?
I say no to making Captain America have a boyfriend. You can give Elsa a girlfriend if you want, but making Captain America gay would be an awkward insult to straight Marvel fans. Let's remember, these fans could convert to DC if they find out their favorite straight super hero has gone gay. But this won't happen because Captain America is not gay. He may have a really close friend in Mister Bucky, but that doesn't mean anyone wants to watch them sucky. Here's a better idea for Marvel to ponder- how about create a new super hero who IS gay. The new character can have the same powers and plot as Captain America - fight evil things and save people. There's nothing wrong with the gay community. But one does not simply go around turning everything else gay. You can be gay if you want, but don't push it upon everyone else and ask movie companies to completely change the status of their creations. Do we want to see Batman gay next? I know him and Robin were always a little too close when climbing up the same rope, but it didn't ever come out that they were actually gay. Just like Captain America and Bucky aren't gay either. If you really want to appeal to liberals and other gays, then create a gay superhero. I'll be over here waiting for the movie to come out, although I don't think it would pick up enough steam to find it's way in a movie theater unless it's those kind you pay 50 cents to sit in. Making a gay super hero is such a better idea, but I don't believe people could get it up enough to find that super hero anywhere as popular as Captain America. What if you're over 30 and still a fan of Captain America, then he turns gay out of nowhere and your entire childhood was a lie. Then you wonder about the rest of your life while drinking $8 sodas as you watch Chris Evans in Civil War repeatedly until you run out of tears. I was a big Macho Man Randy Savage fan as a kid. If he turned gay for no reason, not even for Bucky, then I'd hate it. I would hate every single bit of it. The machismo is gone. The man had Elizabeth as his beautiful sidekick and now he's gonna be playing swords in a cage match? I would not think so. I wonder if this is some sick joke or troll by Twitter users. Are they trying to trick Marvel into making Chris Evans tongue kiss a man while playing Captain America? Is this a wacky joke that movie-goers are playing on Marvel and Evans? Now that would be hilarious. Imagine Chris Evans signs on to his next Captain America titled PENETRATION, smooches with dudes, and everyone Tweets "WE WERE JUST KIDDING, BUT HA HA TO YOU CHRIS EVANS!!!" I know Marvel won't ruin the Captain America theme by making him a homosexual. They won't make him transgender and force him to decide which bathroom to use. They won't do anything but giggle at the thought of it, but thanks anyway Twitter twerps. And that's a good thing, because I don't feel like seeing dudes kiss in an action movie. That's not the kind of action I'm into. Here's something you can think about tonight. Sleep tight, keep your butt hole tight.