Imagine you're moving into a new home and discover that the home isn't previously wired for cable. You learn that technicians aren't available until the next week. A week later technicians notify you that a special group of "wiring people" will need to complete a post-wire on your new home. They're booked two weeks later, aka the following week, aka the end of the universe.

That's fine because you have your phone. Until you drop your phone in the toilet and it didn't have your waterproof Lifeproof case because you were too busy using a selfie stick to Snapchat every moment of your moving in.

Insanity sinks in and you instantly feel like Tom Hanks.

life with no internet

What if someone is trying to get a hold of you by email?

What's new on Facebook and Twitter?

How many Donald Trump memes did I miss?

You panic and rush to a relatives house. One whom is close by, but whom you don't even invite for dinner on holidays. You surprise them with a cheap bottle of Yellowtail and eventually ask - hey can I get on your computer real quick. "Hey Bob, haven't seen you in three years, what brings you to town?" "Oh I just wanted to say hi and hang out with the family for a bit. Oh cool! Is that a new computer? Can I try it?" "Bob, its not new. It's the same we've always had, except you'd know that if you ever came by." "Oh gosh, it does look old.

I should run some quick tests to make sure its running good then, let me sit with it for a few minutes." Three hours later. "Bob, are you well?" "Yeah sure, one minute." Eventually you're asked to leave because they're trying to call it a night and you've been social media-ing for the better part of four hours while pretending to conversate with people you don't even like.

You frantically dash home and pace the unfinished home while desperately to find something to keep yourself busy. Television fails. Radio fails. Everything fails.

Literally nothing connects. No open WIFI is available. Nothing.

All you can think about is the orgasmic time you'll have once those technicians install your Internet and turn you on. Two. Weeks. From. Now.

Two weeks of torture goes by and they arrive.

Two hours of wiring and a broken ceiling tile later, you're completely ready to rock. Unfortunately, you're account is screwed up with the ISP.

You should have service by tomorrow when they process your account, but if you don't, it will be up after the weekend, as your ISP is closed for the weekend because you chose some cheapo side jawn that no one knows of. And, your phone is in the mail, but it's not overnight shipping. And its a three-day-weekend.

Now what?