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I’m a lesbian. My fiancée is a trans woman. We’re trying to have a baby

I just read the most mind-blowing stupidest thing ever. It was an op-ed on the NY Times website. It was an article talking about a woman who claims to be a lesbian and she's trying to have a baby with her transgender female lover. The article kinda hints at how awkward or complicated it might be, but there's one thing that they may not have touched on too much.

The woman who claims to be a lesbian isn't actually a lesbian because her transgender female lover isn't actually a woman. The lesbian woman is just a regular biological lady. The transgender woman is a biological male. What's that mean? It means they are a just a regular ol' straight couple like everyone else and having a baby should be no problem.


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Of course, these are just people looking for attention so instead of being a straight couple, they're pretending to be lesbians and the transgender woman is likely taking estrogen to become a lady. However, now they want to have a baby and he has to cool it with the lady pills so that he gets his testosterone back and they can try to bump uglies like typical straight couples.

It's funny because her fake lesbian lover, who is actually a man trying to be a woman, is now getting facial hair again. How funny it is when they switch back to being a man so they can have a baby.

The return of her testosterone hasn’t resulted in just the resurgence of facial hair; her pants now fit differently, too. My own skin has been plagued by acne since I got off the pill six months ago, and my default states are angry, hungry or sleeping. Such are the perils of trying to have a child the way Lara and I are trying, without in vitro fertilization, or cryogenically frozen sperm. The way fertile cisgender people do: They simply couple up, and boom — a child is born.
For many young trans people, the question of having babies is likely the last thing on their minds. Who could blame them? Like all young people, they’re figuring out their future, and matters of diapers and breast-feeding seem abstract and far off. But unlike all young people, young trans people are often making choices that have long-term consequences for their fertility. Which is part of how I, a 32-year-old cisgender lesbian, and Lara, my 33-year-old trans fiancée, came to be in the situation we’re in today: trying to conceive a child, even though Lara transitioned nearly four years ago.
Here we are, over seven months later: she’s off her hormones; I’m off the pill; we’re engaged and enraged from our respective hormonal shifts. The early stages of this process make me wish for more time; we didn’t realize we wanted children together until we fell in love. If we’d been clairvoyant on our first date, we would’ve decided this over that plate of lukewarm pimento cheese. But we didn’t, and after almost three years together, this is probably our last chance.

They have two options. They can realize that they are a typical run of the mill straight couple and have the child and live a normal life. or they can scrap the idea entirely and move on with their lives living in the circus tent of estrogen treatments.

If the man plans to transition back to female after his real woman lover has the baby, then, by all means, please do the world a favor and do not have a child who could grow up to be traumatized by the fact that daddy wears a dress.

Children are a huge blessing to the world but don't bring them into the world knowing you can't be a real father when you're wearing your woman's underwear and prancing around like a lesbian.

Be a man and father your child like one, or don't have kids at all.

Every child deserves a real father.


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