If you haven't heard the news, Jeff Bezos and his wife are divorcing. He's only somewhat rich, being the CEO of Amazon, the website that treats us to 2-day delivery as we get packages every day like it's Christmas, not to mention the random shit we ordered while drunk and completely forget. The latest rumor comes from a website named dListed who talked about a few news articles the read which suggest that Jeff Bezos might have a massive dick and that could've been what got him into this divorce in the first place.

It must be stated that I have not confirmed either way if Bezos is packing more heat in the pants, nor have I confirmed that he cheated on his wife. The sources that dlisted talk about could be tabloid style, so proceed with caution from this point out.

Let's point out that this could be literally the most expensive divorce ever. If Bezos' wife gets half, she becomes one of the most wealthy women in the world, or maybe even the richest woman on the planet.

Now let's get to the juicy tabloid style information!

dListed stated the following:

They stated that "Lauren Sanchez, the former TV anchor with whom Jeff is still with and may or may not have cheated on his wife MacKenzie Bezos with, is not so great at keeping secrets. Apparently she was super excited to show her friends sexts between her and the richest man alive. Unfortunately, at least one of her friends got jealous of Lauren’s potential future bank account and reportedly decided to line their own, so they gave the texts between her friend and Trump’s rival to Trump’s favorite ass-kissing tabloid The National Enquirer. 
Page Six is reporting that Lauren Sanchez, the former TV anchor with whom Jeff is still with and may or may not have cheated on his wife MacKenzie Bezos with, is not so great at keeping secrets. Apparently she was super excited to show her friends sexts between her and the richest man alive. Unfortunately, at least one of her friends got jealous of Lauren’s potential future bank account and reportedly decided to line their own, so they gave the texts between her friend and Trump’s rival to Trump’s favorite ass-kissing tabloid The National Enquirer.
The texts also include a dick pic, apparently. Although, are we sure it was a dick pic and not just a selfie of Jeff’s head (the one on his neck)? A source says that “Lauren’s over the moon [about their relationship].” And it’s not just the money. Lauren is also thriving because Jeff is packing heat his pantaloons and is Same-Day-Delivering some good dick. 
Meanwhile, a source who has seen the raunchier text messages — which the tabloid didn’t publish, but that include explicit selfies — says Bezos has more to boast about than his bank account. 
“He’s big,” said the insider. 
This is all the work of a four-month long investigation into Jeff and Lauren by the Enquirer, which they codenamed Project Alexa. But don’t pat yourselves on the back too fast for your high-quality stalking skills, Enquirer. Jeff is threatening legal action.

If you want confirmation of any of this, then contact the websites I have linked below. I am only reporting on what they said.

All I gotta say is thanks for the two-day shipping and I'll just put my feet up and watch this thing unfold. If Bezos has a monster dick and like a billion dollars to his name, then that dude is loaded in more way than one and it's no wonder he wants to dip it into a few other moist ones.


Source: dlisted, pagesix, theblast