Starbucks sneaks in price hike, now I gotta go on WELFARE

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White girls in yoga pants are furious. First of all, it’s about to be winter and we just had two days of cold teets like we were witches wearing a steel bra in Alaska. Second, Starbucks secretly jacked up their prices a little bit and now people are freaking out.

white-girl-starbucks

Considering that Starbucks is the most expensive little chain coffee shop you can go to and we can’t possibly make coffee at home – we now have two options.


We all go on welfare, work under the table, and can afford Starbucks nearly 30 cents price hike.
We stop buying real Uggs and start buying the knockoffs from that Asian guy at the flea market on Street Rd.


Who are you girls kidding, you weren’t buying the real ones anyway!

I think Starbucks needs to relax on their prices. They’re already the most expensive. But let’s face it, there’s not many options in Philly that are widely available.

What do we have? Wawa and Dunkin Donuts.

WaWa is brown water, most likely from a toilet, offers little to no caffeine or flavor and you don’t need to wear Uggs to buy it, but you occasionally need to deal with a crackhead outside. Perhaps the worst coffee I’ve ever had.

Dunkin Donuts has a wet cardboard taste and often has me running for a toilet. If there’s anything Dunkin, it’s whatever’s coming out of my backside and dunking in that toilet they use to make WaWa’s coffee.

FILE - In this file photo taken July 26, 2011, a customer enjoys a coffee at Starbucks in Miami. It turns out Starbucks isn't contributing any upfront scholarship money to an online college degree program it introduced on Monday, June 16, 2014. (AP Photo/Alan Diaz, File)

FILE – In this file photo taken July 26, 2011, a customer enjoys a coffee at Starbucks in Miami. It turns out Starbucks isn’t contributing any upfront scholarship money to an online college degree program it introduced on Monday, June 16, 2014. (AP Photo/Alan Diaz, File)


Fortune – “The cost of your favorite beverage just went from ‘ungodly’ to ‘go ahead and sell that kidney.’”

A Starbucks spokeswoman confirmed on Monday that the company raised some of its prices in the 48 hours following the U.S. presidential election results.

Speaking to finance publication The Street, a spokesperson for the company reported a price increase of between 10 and 30 cents on selected cold brews, cold drinks, and baked goods, effective Nov. 10 at most stores.
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