University of Oregon has Bias Response Team Thought Police


Everyone watch what you say, the University of Oregon has a BIAS RESPONSE TEAM (BRT) that will harvest your thoughts and penalize you for saying anything that can possibly be meant in even a 0.0000001 % derogatory innocently accidental demeanor. This is unfortunately a real thing and I wish I was writing this for the Onion, but I'm not.

stupid class

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The BRT was created to eliminate bias on campus, but that's not realistic because there's bias everywhere you go in life. The strong people survive it and the weak cry rivers and wash away in their own tears. If you have thin skin, you're screwed, and you need to toughen up. Real life is not college. College is easy. Real life requires responsibility and grit to survive. Here's how the idiotic thought police, aka Bias Response Team, works as displayed by the logic model which literally makes zero sense.

Bias Response Team 

The sad part is that some people are referred to outside services for having a bad thought or saying something that comes across as even remotely negative, which is absolutely ridiculous.

What happens if I make a tranny joke about Caitlyn Jenner? Improper use of transmission terminology or harmful slur towards the LGBT community? What happens if I call someone a weak loser because they're a liberal protester who ruins a college campus with their annoying protests?

Improper use of weak, because there's no telling how physically strong said loser is, unless called for muscle by nutty professor Melissa Click. Improper use of loser because there was no contest, therefore no winner or loser. What if a heavy set woman pushed me out of the way at the cafeteria for the last order of jalapeno poppers and I call her rude and a fat pig like Donald Trump called Rosie O'Donnell?

Improper use of pig, because pigs may not like poppers. Improper use of Rosie O'Donnell because said person may not be as repulsive as Rosie. What if I call someone a welfare queen for buying steak with an access card? Improper use of queen, for said queen is not royal and steak is for taxpayers.

What if I tell someone they suck because they annoy the heck out of me? Improper use of word suck because said person did not suck on anything like Louis CK suggest they do in his hilarious video.

Who's concocted this thought police nonsense? What kind of liberal sissified rotten faced pig thought of this? They should be arrested on account of being the weakest link in America. Oh no. I said some inappropriate words in a possibly derogatory way. I would definitely be removed from the University of Oregon for the way I speak. I love being politically incorrect. It's hilarious and it's real life.

Louis CK would hate this school too. Have you heard anything from him? He's super famous and says what he wants and what he says is hysterical. Great guy right there folks, but he would be in the BRT's lifetime prison for bad thoughts. I'd be right there behind him next to him! Booya!

Stop having eggshell skin kids, it's only going to get tougher. You millennial's need grit.